The Shy Girl "Speaks"

Ten years ago I received my very first journal for Christmas. It had a denim look to it with a very 70's inspired flower patched on the pocket design. When I began writing in this journal, I was 14 nearly 15. I created rules for myself - the only writing utensils to be used were Gelly Roll pens, and no two consecutive days had the same color (unless there were no other options, which ended up being the case eventually when my favorite ones died out). Fast forward to me being nearly 24 years old, I still write in a journal, but I am a much different person than that OCD journaling chick (one would hope so as a grown-up anyway). I look back, and I realize this quote, that I read from Garrison Keillor's How To Write A Personal Letter, rang true by stating, "So a shy person sits down and writes a letter. To be known by another person--to meet and talk freely on the page--to be close despite the distance. To escape from anonymity and be our own sweet selves that express the music of our souls." That was me then, but not me today. I was the shy girl, the one who "observed and listened" in conversations, not speak in them. I did wish inside that I could be as funny or as cool as some people I watched be. If you were to read my journals, I write as if I'm telling little stories of my day - as if to a best friend. And to be honest, I think I would go crazy if I didn't exercise my mind freely in a journal--it really is cathartic, much like a rock star sings their feelings out through lyrics. Today, I'm one to joke around with others in conversations (I really believe journaling gave that little boost of confidence), and when it comes to meeting photographers and makeup artists and other talents for modeling, I am one to put my hand out there first and make those first impressions count. What's funny, in an ironic sense, is when I admit to people I use to be "the shy one" (yes, I still have those shy moments now and then), they look at me in disbelief and reply, "Nope, I can't imagine you being like that." Makes me feel I've come a long way, and I'm proud of that.

I like the Darkness

Daylight Savings, if you didn't realize, was "turned off" today at 2am. I'll be sad since I love my early mornings dark. Why do we still set the clocks when agrarian culture has been defeated by the Industrial Revolution and its introduction to electricity?

Arguments for it suggest it gives us another hour of daylight to be productive and to be able to run errands after a work shift given whatever daylight is left (stimulates the economy). Also encourages more play outdoors or exercise, promoting Vitamin D health.

I disagree with this "energy-saving" tactic. The errands also mean more energy and gasoline emitted into the atmosphere. As Michael Downing, a Tufts University teacher and author, said, “Give Americans an extra hour of after-dinner daylight, and they will go to the ballpark or the mall — but they won't walk there.”

A report by the California Energy Commission’s Demand Analysis Office concluded that increasing daylight saving time “had little or no effect on energy consumption in California.” Daylight Savings will still be in effect though, due to the Energy Policy Act of 2005. This allowed Daylight Savings to be pushed weeks deeper in to help combat energy problems. That coerces the sunrise to happen at 8:30am, which is a problem for practicing Jews who have morning services on times predicted by the sun. Preraue points out, "“If sunrise is late, religious Jews have to delay going to work or pray at work, neither of which is a desirable situation."

Not only that, television networks dislike the idea. More daylight means people won't be home in time to watch shows/movies during prime time.

There's No Such Thing As "Perfect"

As a model, I succumb to the pressures of looking like the quintessential girl 24/7 - skinny, flawless, and dolled up. When I meet someone new and they find out I'm a model, I feel like I have to disclaim myself with "Oh, I know I don't look like one, but I transform completely on set. Just look at my pictures and then make judgments." Some of my pictures don't have the best representation of me, as they can look like a totally different person! I recently came across a quote from Canadian model Coco Rocha that really put a smile on my face - I'm definitely not alone. This is what she had to say:

"You see a model walking down the street and she's wearing jeans and a T-shirt, no makeup, her hair down, and she looks like a regular girl. For me just to look 'natural' in a photo takes two hours of hair and makeup, good lighting, styling, and Photoshop--and six hours later, you have the picture. But when I go home, it's just me with no makeup, pimples, and a pair of baggy pants. That's life--the rest is just fantasy. We all need to remember that a photo is just what beauty was to one photographer on one day. You can't compare yourself to those pictures. You are real. Photos are two-dimensional. Beauty is three-dimensional. Your confidence, your personality, your presence--it all adds to what make you beautiful."

Similarly, I go about my day in yoga pants, no makeup, and my wavy hair let loose. I don't feel incredible all the time, but I at least feel truly me when I'm joking around with my coworkers or having a fun time with friends - you tend to forget what you look like!

Underwater Shoots LOOK Easy. My Story Says Otherwise...

I'm getting a lot of questions on how my first underwater photoshoot went, so it'd just be easier to tell the experience on here, then link anyone who asks.

I arrived at a residential area in Woodside, CA (near Redwood City) just before 11am, the meeting time. At this one particular house is a special pool with no chlorine, just big filters. I get into shorts and a bra (didn't have a bathing suit), and quickly learned the basics of scuba diving. I sink under the water with the photographer, Paige, and her special spider-looking waterproof case with lights. It was pretty awkward breathing underwater through a regulator and only with the mouth. I adjusted quickly though, and we took piece by piece off to capture the feeling of posing underneath (obviously I'm not going to be wearing an oxygen tank and goggles). We paused and ate some lunch, decided on various looks for the shoot, and finally applied makeup. The set was complete, so I put the first dress on, and stepped into the water. Already from the surface it looked neat wearing something unusual in the pool.

I've never been much of a swimmer - I had lessons as a kid, so I know the fundamentals but I always wore dorky goggles and stopped for air during freestyle. I had an assistant go under the water so I could be fed air underneath, but the first couple of times I went down to pose, my body's reaction was to surface and get air, not motion for him to swim to me and have me exhale sharply in a regulator before inhaling air. I'm telling you it was awkward! There was a moment I felt that I couldn't do it. It was tough and complicated, but not impossible. I had to mentally pep talk myself into succeeding because I always challenge myself and I'm establishing a name, so if I do well, I'd be kept on the "future underwater models" list! I thought of celebrities and models who had to do this very thing, so I tried it again, and this time, before I ran out of air, I tapped my mouth, exhaled and breathed oxygen into my lungs. It felt good but it was still an odd feeling. I needed this round of being under for longer than 10 seconds to power me through the rest of the shoot. Finally I had hope again. I can do this! They added a weight belt to help sink me quicker and we ended up clearing the tanks of oxygen. Break time!

After about 3 hours of shooting, we decided to check out the images, clear the memory card, refill the oxygen tanks. For being a "trooper," we decided to continue shooting, but a different look the next round.

Makeup was redone. I put on my formal dress from 5 years ago - a coral colored, princess-type dress with a corset top and layers and layers of tulle/fabric for the skirt half. I had to force it under water, and I knew it was going to be really heavy once I was submerged. We shot this one in the deeper end of the pool for the black background. The black was very complimentary to the colors of the dress - I think it looked prettier underwater than above! I was use to how the shoot would be by now, but it's still a really uncomfortable feeling not being able to breathe how you want.

I had a few scary moments, and had to be rescued from the assistant scuba below. The dress would wrap around my foot, making it impossible for me to wade to the surface or do anything but sink. We placed a ladder in the pool so I could get to an "island" to relax and breathe in between takes during shooting through those couple of hours. The dress would expose me a few times but I just wanted air, and I didn't care. As one of the photographers on set stated, now I can say that I've done the hardest kind of photoshoot a model can do! That put a smile on my face. I definitely would rank this as something a model should do with a developed portfolio so their focus isn't on how to pose, but rather to think of all the elements an underwater shoot involves (you can easily look like a monkey!) - especially since you only get maybe 30 decent images out of 400; way different than modeling on land!

I had tons of fun and would advise any model to try it out, but do so when you're experienced. I'm waiting for images being done in post-production and I can't wait! I was able to peek and had several favorites. Fathom Films would like to shoot with me again and even said I have potential to be an underwater model.

Seems Like Blackmail...

It almost seems like the "Christian life" is blackmailed (note that I say "seems like," and blackmail in the sense of "the use of threats or the manipulation of someone's feelings to force them to do something" - dictionary definition #2). Not only is the only way to a non-torturous hell-fire eternal life through this one specific faith in Jesus, but also the life lived isn't quite "chosen." I read this book once on finding your destiny in life, and there was an example of a man who didn't choose God's will and went through the majority of his life in regret and despair. Now that to me proposes many problems. What about others in life who don't ever follow "God's will" or aren't aware of it? Or simply don't believe in God, so what is His will to them (in a believer's point of view)? Plenty live life and are content with how it is without all that added pressure to live a certain way. Now in this particular story, the man knew what was God's will and blatantly chose not to follow it. But the fact he's living life feeling guilty doesn't sound "godly" or justly at all. If we don't follow, does the God of the Bible really want us living the rest of our lives feeling that way? I don't think so... but when organized religion pounds on you to where you feel so guiltily convicted of everything you do, that's manipulation and should be rid of. This is almost as bad as my last post about the lady who was living a false life.

Living Behind A Facade

A little over a year ago I was flipping through those Post Secret books, you know, where anonymous letters are written revealing a secret. One that sticks to me is "My husband is a Southern Baptist pastor... I don't believe in God." To me, that sounds like a horrible way to live. Now I don't know her background. She could have come to that conclusion after her marriage or have always pretended she believed because she really loves the guy. Either way, hiding yourself just seems stressful and even damaging! I mean, she has to really involve herself in something she doesn't believe in. Think about it, her husband is a pastor - that requires more than the typical Christian attitude towards things. She has to sacrifice her Sunday mornings and possible weekday meetings to put on this front, pray to "God," and perhaps hold woman Bible studies, spouting her spurious testimony.

After some time, I can imagine it being frustrating and for sure would drive me crazy. I can picture it being similar to being around people all day, and just wanting to be at home alone, but just never being able to (temporary feeling). It's really sad when I read that about others, and I can't really relate. Like I said, I can picture how it would feel (my most frustrating moment), but this is her life!

A College That Doesn't Require Thinking

This post is a bit huge for me, as it reveals a little more in depth of what I think on a specific issue that *can* offend people - in this case I don't really care if I do. I feel because I've been exposed to both sides of the spectrum, the topic is addressed how I want to address it, and that is to be open about it [comments are welcome]. It may be eye-opening to some, or just simply interesting. So, here goes:

I want to write about my frustration with uber-conservative Christians. You see, growing up, Amy and I had a best friend. We would hang out with her maybe 2-4 times a year, so every time we spent the night for 2 days, it was special. Even though we were apart, I always labeled her my "best friend" - that stuck for years. We even supported each other through high school. She would surprise visit and watch a couple plays we were in at school and when we learned to drive, we would grab our licenses and drive to Fremont. Things changed when her family moved to SoCal. Her sister went to the Christian college in Lancaster. I've been to a couple of their conferences, and it appears decent, so I considered at one point going. I'm actually glad I didn't opt that way

1) It would've been to please others [my parents never once pressured me going there, others did]
2) I would've just gone out of having an answer to the uncertainty of what I wanted to do or where I was going
3) I've listened to people tell me how to dress, behave, etc my whole life at this point (the territory of a private Christian school).

The problem began with my best friend attending the college. Which in all honesty is a fine choice since I don't think she was pressured into it. But from observation, that school is stubborn, crazy conservative, and think the world is "so evil" (I wouldn't be surprised if they also stated it is 6,000 years old). When we hung out we couldn't do our usual movies because she could possibly get suspended for attending. Her way of dress changed (because her closet had to if she was going to live at this school four years). She lived in culottes, skirts, dresses, and more of nylons and closed toe shoes. What's ridiculous is when she said her church youth group went to the snow and they had to wear skirts... Ok, sexist, I get it (not really) - only guys can do snow activities? *gasp* Oh no! A girl wearing pants for a practical reason?!! Some guy might imagine her naked, seeing that she actually has legs! Have you worn a skirt? It's restricting, and in my opinion (I know not all girls think this), it's uncomfortable.

Who decides this? Certainly not God [One, if the assumption is that God exists, and two, the assumption that if God does exist, this is the SAME God they believe in].

I'm tired of being grown up and seeing my peers being told wearing pants is a "wrong thing" or going to movies is, or that... (list goes on). I feel I get the cold shoulder because I made the decision not to go, so now I'm in the world and has been corrupted (speaking against this is probably evil too). They put on fake smiles and high-pitched voices like they're impersonating Barbie and act like their life has never been better without all this. Now they could think that their life has never been better, but they certainly aren't being prepared for this so-called "evil world" they'll be thrown into once they get their Bible degrees or whatever it is, get out and find a job - just really naive and ignorant - would it be better then without their bubble? I'm not saying everyone who goes there turns out that way, but I see it in the majority. They learn not to think for themselves (how can you when you're told how to live in every aspect of life), and that idea saddens me and is messed up. They're grown- ups! It's that age you meet a future spouse, so why do they still have that mindset that girls and boys need to be divided like elementary school all over again (actually I'm not even sure public schools did that?).

Well, I have peeled a layer off from vulnerable me and now you can see a bit more to who I am, or what I've become. This is the sort of thing I journal these days, but I don't always blog it to the public. To be honest, I feel better about it in the open. ~Brenda

Happy Independence Day, America!

My alien parents did a good job of raising me with a culturally open mind. Growing up as first generation in America, I had this sense of loving another country on top of identifying with the one I'm living in. I'm not sure how easy it was for them to assimilate here, as they must have received many glares from citizens when they didn't recite the pledges. To have us kids take part in Thanksgiving, July 4 celebrations, and other American traditions coerced us to feel affiliated and was memorable.

Though I won't be the one to state "America is the best country on Earth," I absolutely love learning American history (and like I state many times, specifically the Civil War) and am glad America gives many immigrants opportunities.

This holiday wasn't much for us besides seeing fireworks behind Great America in a levy a few times, and one year we spent it in New Zealand. I'm working today, but I'll pull out a Statue of Liberty foam headpiece to celebrate while making smoothies for thirsty customers. Have fun at your bbq's, beaches, piers, or whatever you do and have a safe July 4!

Never Too Young to Follow A Passion

In the past week, news about Abby Sunderland from Thousand Oaks, Calif. have augmented on whether or not she was too young to sail. Doesn't anyone remember being 17? I was a little bewildered viewing a poll that stated about 67% believing she was "too young and irresponsible." I think people are quick to judge and don't really place themselves in ones shoes often enough.

At 17 years old, you want to show people how mature you can be, or of how "adult" you can portray by making informed decisions - and I don't mean what outfit to wear to prom. It's at this age you make life-changing resolutions (i.e. college choices, opinions on debatable matters, career decisions, etc). Sure, you aren't quite recognized by the government as any more than a dependent, but when I was 17, I felt too old to be categorized as a kid based off my age. And as a young adult, you want to prove you can be accountable behind the wheel, or trusted to go away to college, and be ready to register to vote; in Abby's case, it was her passion since she was 13 to sail around the world solo.

There are many younger kids who prove themselves worthy of stepping out against all odds. Sure, there are those that flop and we all hear about it, but it's all learning experiences required for growth. How is it that when a 16 year old can sail and be the youngest to do so and succeed (Jessica Watson) and it's incredible and great, but when a girl like Abby attempts and fails, she's labeled too young? What about young entertainers? I don't hear anyone flustering over how young Justin Bieber is traveling the world and having girls trample each other just to see him. Or Miley Cyrus singing about moving her hips in clubs and whatnot (though she did get bad rep for implied pictures for Vanity Fair). We forget that age doesn't necessarily reflect maturity.

Abby acted very professional in my opinion. Not only was she fit for her sport and knowledgeable and equipped, but she recognized she needed help, and gladly accepted it. "She's obviously keen to have some assistance, but she is in very good spirits."

So let's not judge other people's passions and wish them the best of luck! I'm not saying we shouldn't be concerned for one's decisions, but maybe just step back and see from their perspective before commenting.

"Wild Eyes and my trip have been the best thing I have ever done or been through and I don't ever want to forget all the great times we have had together, or the bad ones for that matter."

Goodbye America!

I gotta be quick about this (taking off rather shortly), but now that the stress of school and finals is over, my New Zealand trip is really exciting! I've planned on not being bored on the 13 hour flight with music, a book, sleeping, and watching whatever movies they have and eating (also have to make sure I move around since the ankles will really swell!). This first week will be exciting stuff - zorbing, bungee jumping, black water rafting (basically rafting in caves with glowworms), and then all family rest of the time. I can't wait... this has been way too long. From the shy girl with a unibrow and boy's clothing to the outgoing and adventurous me... time to show my family that change :)

Pressure Makes Diamonds

Here I am at 2 in the morning, sitting in my little walk-in closet with the light on and laptop handy, finishing an assignment. I've had since Wednesday to read, annotate, ponder, and write... so why on a Sunday night am I not in a cozy bed dreaming and am 4 hours away from my alarm's wake up call? Good question. You see, as a writer (or English major or a college student even), we get things called a "writer's block." Right, not an incredible excuse, but I find myself a more creative person when I procrastinate. Sure the late nights really suck when I'm nodding off in the classroom, but when I turn in a paper that reads like an A+, that's more rewarding to me than the C I could have received with sleep! How am I so sure my late work isn't "C worthy?" It's as simple as my experiences - for my Consumer Math class Junior year in high school, I turned in a portfolio of a vacation trip for two. My project was shown to the class on why one shouldn't procrastinate! Oh, the irony (my secret for those is always colored construction paper and scrapbooking skills). Oh, and no I don't work in my closet often - I was being polite as to not to disturb my sister while she rests herself all over my new bedding <--RUDE! :P

Listen to the Band

It's been 10 years since I claimed the Monkees was better than the Beatles (an atrocity to most people, I know). I couldn't help but smile when I reminisced last night with my twin sister of these four capricious oddballs chosen to be part of a sitcom/band. While everyone else was getting into the pop sounds of Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, and *NSYNC, I was jamming to Last Train to Clarksville and spending my unoccupied nights on monkeegirl.com. My allowance (earned simply by taking vitamins, exercising, and eating dinner) curtailed quickly from the 12+ albums purchased at Media Play - luckily my sister shared the same appreciation. My poor dad was most likely puzzled having to replace the ink cartridge in no time from something Amy and I covertly created called "The Monkee Binder." Inside included a mini bio of each band member (Davy, Peter, Mike, and Micky), a list of all the show's episodes, lyrics to all songs, a small gallery, and even recipes! Yep, I was definitely smitten by them, enough to where I couldn't wait for the weekend to end just so I could wake up Monday through Friday to watch them in their typical red, 8-button shirts.

P.S. Thank you mom for getting me that autographed Micky Dolenz Monkees lunchbox tin!

P.S.S. Their movie Head was a total flop! You'll know it with only 2 minutes of viewing...

Leftover Vicodin for Sale! ...Not...

Just lying in bed feeling sleepy and lethargic. I took the day off from school, and am really glad my teachers are understanding (not thinking it's a hoax since just the other day I was perfectly ok!). Today was interesting and quite fun to be honest. My alarm went off at 6:10am, snoozed for 15 min, and got ready - easy peasy since it was comfy clothes with no bra and I was not allowed breakfast or even water to drink. Mum picked me up from my new apartment, and we were off to the Forrest Surgery Center near Valley Fair Mall. We were 30 min early - I was anticipating this moment all of yesterday since I've never experienced anything like this and have always been curious. It was nothing to be worried about really, so why not be positive? I started to journal how I was feeling and what was about to take place, when, after minor paperwork and proof of insurance and ID, I got called into the back. I had to undress and put on a hair net and garment and lie down on a gurney. A lovely heated blanket was placed on me and I was given socks, questions, and an IV in the right vein running down my arm giving a cold sensation. I was there for an hour, staring at everything rythmical - the drip-drip of the IV and the tick-tocking of the gazing clock. I eavesdropped on some chit-chatter from the nurses at a receptionist desk, and daydreamed how I would be in History class (discussing WWII currently) on a typical Wednesday. Distantly I could hear Kelly Clarkson and whatever else was playing under the gossip taking place (anorexic ballerinas who were here a few weeks ago). Another heated blanket was provided, and the anesthesiologist came by to double-check if I take any medications or was allergic to anything (nope, I'm pretty much a healthy bee). I had to initial my left boob and explain back to the nurse what will take place - "excisional biopsy on the left breast" was the technical term. Moments later two nurses approached.

"Ok Brenda, we're going to be wheeling your gurney to the surgical room now. It's colder in there so if you need another blanket let us know. How are you feeling?"

"Amazing!"

"Great, keep that smile on your face."

I was thinking how I wouldn't be able to, given that I would be put under shortly. The transporting was fun and comfortable, and as the new room approached, I was excited. It was brightly lit, very clean, and upbeat music was playing. The guy was right about the room being colder, but it wasn't an uncomfortable cold. Doctors were getting ready and joking - it seemed really fun to be a part of that atmosphere (kinda like you see in movies/shows). I was shifted onto a heated bed, and once the nurse checked my blood pressure, and maneuvered my body, I saw a head pop over mine, "Brenda I just gave you something that will make you feel very relaxed" "Yay!" In an instant, I felt a strong buzz, like I had a one too many glasses of wine. I always thought if I had this opportunity, I would be stubborn and try to fight wanting to sleep, but I decided to shut my eyes to get comfortable, and daydream. I blink open my eyes and shut them, and then continued opening and closing. Realizing I've been in the dark with thoughts turning for some time, I wondered when the surgery would take place. I have pure oxygen running through my lungs now, and I'm back in the room I lingered prior, but on the other side. I could feel my chest wrapped tighter, and I realized I was already finished with surgery! "Oh no, go back to sleep, go back to sleep" were my thoughts. I really liked being unaware of time and literally everything. I still felt a bit tipsy and my mum was brought in. I started to shake and my teeth were chattering, but this wasn't because I needed another blanket. These chills were inspired by trauma - like after doing something totally nerve-racking. Asides from that, I told her I had a fun time in there and loved all of it, and she just laughed and was glad I was weirdo to have enjoyed it.

Everything happened so quickly - I went to the doctor just 2 days ago about a lump on the left side, and here I am on a Wednesday night recovering from surgery! I have some Vicodin for my healing pains, and can begin showering and participating in light activities tomorrow. As crazy as I am about working out, I need to take it easy and rest. Well, my first surgery ever went well, and definitely was a very positive experience getting taken care of and all drugged up, hehe. As a result, I have major bruising, orange skin, and a bigger boob (from the swelling of course!). I couldn't eat at all before the surgery beginning midnight the prior, so as a hungry gal, I ate a delicious buffet meal with mum at Fresh Choice. They have really yummy pizza! Zucchini and yellow squash topped my favorite one. Their tapioca pudding also tasted better than usual. Alright, enough advertising. Have a goodnight!

P.S. The moon looks really pretty right now. Awesome to stare at before bed :)

Move Your Feet This Week!

It's National Dance Week (April 23-May 2) - take this opportunity to drop in a free class sponsored by a dance studio near you and explore something new and fun. To spice up my fitness routine, I tried pole dancing! And yep, pole dancing is definitely a workout (I know my triceps are gonna be sore and my abs a bit firmer!). I wished I brought my camera but I'm sure I won't forget what I learned. It was quite addicting actually, and I was uber-ecstatic afterwards and called mum and told her all about it (yes, i have a fantabulous relationship with her to do so, haha). So, even though its Dance Week this week, still doesn't give you an excuse to go out and try another week if you can't get out there before May 2nd.

P.S. The fitness pole dancing class is for females only :)

Progresso and Campbell Unite!

Wow, seriously? It's been a tad over a month since I've last written on here! Sorry for the lousy upkeep, but I've been uber-busy with two jobs, school, exercising, and last but definitely not least, MOVING!! I can officially say I'm moving out of San Jose, though I'm still in the neighboring town of 40,000 people called Campbell. The title is just my ironic way of stating that I'm "progressing" forward, and what better way than to use rival soup company's names?

I've been independent mostly for about 2 1/2 years, so it'll be interesting having to adjust to 2 new roommates (which shouldn't be a big deal, as I generally get along with everyone I meet and as long as I do my part and communicate, all is well, right?). The best part about my adjustment? I'm moving from a 200 sq. ft (yes, not a typo!) to a spacious master bedroom with a walk-in closet! The swimming pool/hot tub, awesome fitness center with a movie rental box, big laundry room, and no creepy neighbors will be an outstanding bonus too. I feel this will be a positive experience for me, and I'm much closer to where I need to be in terms of transportation: cycling is still my favorite way to get around town.

Morbus Cyclometricus

Morbus what? People once believed trying to "square a circle" was an illness, and that illness was called Morbus Cyclometricus. Anyway, this blog is just to show my appreciation for those nerds who celebrated Pi Day yesterday. The math club at West Valley observed it today and it meant free apple/peach pie! I was a little ecstatic stepping out of ballet and finding a yellow cancellation notice on the door of my next class, Sports Nutrition. I had read about "Pi Day" as an event for the day and was bummed I had classes back-to-back until 3:30pm. This cleared my 11am - 12:30pm window, so I sat in the cafeteria, and while reading my textbook (on fatty acids and energy sources), I participated in the Pi trivia. I luckily answered one of them and received a $5 certificate to WV's new Drip Cafe cart with a yummy variety of snacks, drinks, and lunch-y items like sandwiches and yogurt. Thank you nerds for setting up an awesome day that put a smile on my face! More nerdy info about pi day: http://www.piday.org/

"Sorry" is Thrown Around Too Much

As kids, our parents do the right thing and teach us to say words like "please," "thank you," and "sorry" whenever appropriate. Not that any of these words are horrible, but a little over a year ago, one of my Israeli friends asked me, "Why do Americans say 'sorry' so much?" I never thought about it before, so I couldn't give a decent answer straight-up. Ever since then, I hear those "sorry's" and understand what he was asking. According to the dictionary, an apology is an "expression of regret" - let's see which of these fall under that:

-I'm working the register and someone is giving me change instead of dollars

-If someone asks to try whatever it is I'm eating - "Can I have some? Sorry..." or simply clarifying a question "Is this mine? Sorry"

-If they fail to open a door for me or keep it open if near it

-I'm offered a ride home, and I hear apologies for their driving (really? I appreciate this more than the bus!)

-Forget my name when they JUST met me... I think its safe to ask again without one, right? We've all been in that same boat and understand, though it does fit the description and is courteous. It also allows them from hurting or offending anyone.

I'm guilty of saying sorry just to say it sometimes, and perchance you are too. So by observation, it seems people feel obligated to say sorry 1) to those they don't know well, i.e. strangers, and 2) when the situation seems rude.

Feel free to comment if you agree/disagree or have any stories

I am Hooked...

Literally and figuratively. I just experienced flying in the air with, erm attempted ease, on the flying trapeze! My twin sister and I recently had our 23rd birthday, and this was how we decided to celebrate it. We arrived at Trapeze Arts in Oakland just after sunset. Once shoes were removed, we were shown quick, basic steps that needed to be applied when we climbed the ladder to the elevated platform. It felt very intimidating and a bit exciting. I kept thinking, "I can't believe I've gotten myself in this! I'm going to be swinging on a bar upside down, with my legs holding me - in less than 2 minutes!" I couldn't get the image out of my mind and how I worked the courage to agree to do this. I'm not afraid of heights, and I definitely appreciate adventures like these, but my mind and body had no idea what to expect, and there was no reference (I've yet to do similar activities like bungee jumping). The worst part was leaning off the platform and trusting you won't roll off even though you jut your hips forward. My calves received an excellent stretch, and I can tell I will be sore. I got hooked into my harness, and heard "Ready" (bend knees) "Hep!" (mini hop off). I felt like a kid on the playground during recess or the little gymnast I had always wanted to be. I had no sense of height while slicing the air. "Legs up, now" I swung my legs above my head to hook over the bar. After a momentum swing backwards, I let go of my arms and arched my back as far as my muscles would allow. Everything was upside down, but that was the perfect position for the next segment we did - a partner to grab onto! I felt like a professional when accomplishing a grab-and-let-go deal before the lesson was up. I am very pleased with my night, and am so ready to go back for more! It's worth it and I highly recommend this if you're bored or in need of a spike in your life. Pics and video will be posted up soon.

Valentine's Day

I love this holiday - I don't care if began as a way to boost sales, I just love it! I don't think it has anything to do with the fact it's 3 days after my birthday, but rather the atmosphere and concept behind it. Love, hearts, sweets, and romance (even if you're single, like me). I guess my mum left a great impression of this holiday growing up - she sprinkled fun goodies on our beds after school, and I felt notable at school receiving cheesy valentine cards from other classmates (I was considered a weirdo in elementary fyi, hah). Well, with that said, I had a great Valentine's and birthday. Even if it meant working at a cool smoothie spot for half the day - I felt my day had an impact on someone or other.

I've Missed You

Dear School,

I know I've neglected you for a couple years in the past, but I just want you to know that I've changed. I really like you... actually love you, but that's too strong of a word for now. To show my willingness to get back, I've subsidized my hard-earned money, and will be investing at least 16 hours a week just to see you. I hope to benefit from this relationship... oh, and thanks for accepting me again.

Sincerely, Brenda.

Yep, I'm a goofball, but it's true! I love school - the learning, the environment, the cafes to study in, the library, etc. I'm taking pretty awesome classes this semester, and should only have 2 semesters left for earning an AA in English. My current class schedule consists of:

History - One of my favorite subjects, especially since we're touching up on the American Civil War! Teacher is pretty hilarious and makes us imagine the era we're discussing. Critical thinking at such an early hour, it's no wonder he has to crack jokes to get our attention.

Ballet - I was a little iffy on this class at first since it would be a new ballet teacher experience for me after 3 semesters with Brenna. I figured I could learn a lot from another set of professional eyes, and boy was I right! She wants us to be "strong dancers," so we do this crazy-awesome ab, leg, arm workout routine before our barre sequences. Something fun and active to keep me going through the day - better than the spinning class I was thinking of... I workout on my own time, so why not have fun!

Sports Nutrition - The body is a very fascinating mechanism, and me being a fitness enthusiast definitely wants to learn about the fitness-nutrition relationship. Personal trainer someday?

Creative Writing - My teacher is blind and incredible at what she does. It's blessing to have her insight as she can ask us to be more descriptive and colorful if needed in our work. We'll be writing a minimum of 8,000 words for an assignment later on... sounds scary, right? It's a good thing I love writing!

Critical Reading - A graduation requirement, but a good one nonetheless. I enjoy reading a variety of genres on my spare time, my favorite being young adult fiction usually in first person (yep, I've read as a guy). Who doesn't want to improve vocabulary, comprehension, and speed?

The City Needs to Give Me "Real" Money

A week ago I had heard of The Blank Club handing out "black cards" yesterday, so I figured even if I wasn't one to go out often, attending 3 times a year would be worth it since it'd be free with one (and of course, you never know what the future holds). Amy and I were both tired but thought it would be fun owning one and feeling like VIP, so we just rounded up $5 from our laundry collection - I don't get around to a bank much nor do I carry loads of cash on me. Amy parks around the corner and I go stand in a line and wait for about 10 min. I get right up to the front, show my drivers license and hear "$5." I open my hand and the lady gets all defensive. She shoves her metal box shut and motions both hands up and says "Nuh-uh. Get real money. Move along." I felt so humiliated and ticked! What about "United States of America" printed on a coin isn't "real." It wasn't like I was handing 500 pennies or anything for her to count - exact change and dollar coins like those government operations with change spits at you either from transportation services or post office, etc. The bouncer felt for me and tried reassuring that I could go over to a bar around the corner to get change. I just gave up and told Amy the story, and how I felt like a bum trying to get drunk in a club. What-evs. Those moments are what make stories funny in life, so I'll appreciate my embarrassment...

First Impressions via the Internet

As of January 1, 2010 I've been part of an online dating community through OkCupid. Now I'm not looking for anyone (especially via the web), but I was encouraged to sign up by my friend Sandra who found her guy on this particular site. I admit I was curious, so I loaded up a picture of me, punched in some interesting facts, and watched my viewings skyrocket to 100+ per week, and my inbox highlighting the many new messages I receive each day. It's pretty crazy... and sometimes annoying to keep up! Don't want to leave anyone hanging even if I'm not interested. There are some decent guys on there, but I haven't met anyone in public yet, and I've been clear as to why I'm on there. I feel mean since it's a bit misleading why I would be on a dating site if I wasn't interested in dating! I figured I could use my insight to let those of you in on what I think grabs my attention:

1. Be creative in your approach. In the midst of 10+ emails, I am more likely to click on one that is specific to what I have on my profile than a subject line reading: "Hi" or "Would you like to get to know me?" etc. Now it seems unfair, because from my understanding, guys are simple and quick-to-the-point kind of creatures. So instead of fumbling around on things like "That's cool you play piano, I play guitar" to later find out the chick isn't interested, is a bit tedious. Unfortunately, we're females and not that direct. Sorry dudes.

2. Have a decent screen name. yellowboogers23 is not very attractive or impressive.

3. Watch the copy/paste. I'm aware on a site like this, you're looking at other girl's profiles, but please don't call me Samantha in your private message.

4. Don't look like a creep - or please upload a picture. I'm not a fan of being harsh, so when one guy asked in an email reasons why I wouldn't be interested, I was blunt about it but not mean. It wasn't all about his looks, but it's an example for this reason. His profile picture had a vacant stare and no smile and looked a bit unfriendly (stalker perhaps? it's the internet... could be anyone). I let him know that his picture is a first impression and after a day or so he thanked me and I noticed a new uploaded image. His smiling picture definitely looked more approachable, and I'm sure his viewings are higher these days.

An Excellent Planner for Perhaps an Excellent Year

Can't believe I have not found a decent, 2010 planner - and it's driving me nuts! I feel a bit picky, but no one knows how to produce great ones anymore. I used an excellent one for 2009, and unfortunately, haven't been able to find one just like it on its website or the store I purchased it from. I've also looked around at other bookstores, stationary spots, and all over the internet. Let me know if I'm being ridiculous, but here's what makes a great schedule book to me:

1) A full year or more (I came across "academic" ones that lasted until June). Also, my preference is the weekly planner with a monthly outlook. Less stressful viewing a weekly than a monthly, but good to have the monthly there to be aware of upcoming events later on.

2) Cannot be spiral-bound. I don't know about you, but spirals can get in the way of writing, they can bend, unravel, snag on something in your bag, and I've had a plastic one break! That list can go on...

3) Must possess a cute factor (basic ones are fine, but none of this ugly kitten picture stuff) and is "mature" - i.e. we are adults who organize our lives. Anyone professional who sees smiling robots will think otherwise.

4) Pockets, extra pages for notes, mentions of holidays, moon stages, and info like state capitals and measurement units are great

5) No tabs - makes a complication when you can't access the pages in between them

6) Elastic band closure - excellent easy opening, and is good at holding loose notes inside. A magnetic clip or cover flap gets in the way, and nothing to close it with causes the book to open easily inside your bag/purse. Ribbons are decent but you'd have to tie a knot/bow each time.

7) Creative. My '09 agenda had the coolest thing: Perforated edges were located on the bottom right corner available to tear off after each week, letting you find the date in no time (like the dog-ear flap in a book idea).

8) I favor a tough paperback, but can compromise with a hardcover - sometimes those are hard to open quick enough though.


Yep, call me picky (like I've stated), but I'm a trial/error gal and I know what works best. I could probably even design some and see if selling in the future is possible. Spending $14+ for generic ones that violate my proclivities aren't worth it... maybe if I get desperate enough.